Avoidance Coping & The Anxiety & Fear Response
Avoidance Coping is maladaptive way we try to deal with stress, fear or anxiety. However, avoidance only perpetuates the cycle of distress.
Every time we avoid something, big or small, we’re teaching our brain that we can’t handle those scary things. This may not seem like a big deal for little things, but those little things are what add to our confidence for when we need to overcome the really difficult things.
Avoidance Coping results in
Avoidant Behaviors
When we break patterns of avoidance coping and if we face the things that scare us head-on, our brain actually rewires as it learns that we are competent, strong and resilient. Our brains are very flexible and exist for the sole purpose of learning how to keep us alive. However, it can learn some inaccurate information. Therefore, we have to be cognizant of what we are teaching out brains, and if we’re teaching it to avoid coping through our avoidant behaviors, our brain will continue to alert us so we act in that avoidant way.
Learning From Avoidance Coping
The more we face our fears, the less intense fear and anxiety will be in the future because our brain is learning that the fear-stimulus doesn’t actually require the intense stress response. The worst thing we can do is avoid; avoidance only fuels the fire of anxiety.
Rebecca Sidoti, LCSW
OCD & Anxiety
Ketamine Therapy
VR Therapy
Ashlee Jacobs
Teens
Trauma
Depression
Learn more →
Jordyn Kaprowski
Grief
Teens
Postpartum Wellness
Learn more →
Jailene Irizarry
Identity Development
Self-Esteem
Stress
Learn more →
Paulina Del Pino
Family & Teens
Trauma
Depression
Learn more →
Fear is a Haunted House:
AnAvoidance Coping Metaphor
Fear is just like a haunted house. We line up waiting for our turn, ready to be scared. Rationally, we are well aware that it is fake, and just for thrills. But that’s the kicker! We know it’s all fake, but the moment that zombie jumps out, we scream! The hairs on the back of our beck stand up, our heart races, eyes wide, muscles tense and somehow our feet are moving faster than we can keep up with!
So why are we so scared? We know it’s fake, but our bodily response is 100% real.
Now, think about the people who don’t have a fear response.
Who is it at the haunted house that seems bored, that shows no startle response?
The workers.
It’s not because the workers are ‘tougher’ or ‘more courageous’, and it’s definitely not because they know it’s fake, because remember, we also know it’s fake. do too. The reason that the workers at the haunted house don’t have a startle response is because they are repeatedly exposed to the scary things. In fact, they are so used to being exposed to the scary ghouls and goblins that they become *desensitized*, even bored by it.
The opposite of fear is not courage
Courage is our defense that gets us past fear to our true goal of boredom. Yes, boredom. When something elicits no response from us, when we couldn’t even be bothered, we’ve actually overcome the fear. Now, we might need to do that a few times over to reinforce our ‘unbothered’ response, but hey, the more we do it, the easier it gets!
Ditch the Avoidance Coping
In VR therapy, I’ve asked clients to tell me when they start daydreaming during an exposure exercise. They usually look at me perplexed, but that’s when I know that their brain has officially un-learned the fear response and has returned to baseline.
Some fears and phobias, like all things mental health, can be more complex and require a trained therapist’s support to overcome. That’s why the therapists at Mind by Design are trained in the neuro-based treatment for OCD and phobias, along with mindfulness and trauma informed care. When it comes to fear, we got you covered. Reach out (even if that scares you 😎)
Stay Fierce
Where are you located? I need a therapist near me
We are fully online, which means that your therapy sessions will be help via video call on our HIPAA compliant Platform. Anyone in New Jersey can access our therapy services
How do I get started as a new client?
New Clients can reach out to us directly via call, text or email here:
Does my insurance cover my visits?
We provide”Courtesy Billing” for clients who are using the Out-of-network insurance benefits.
Our Insurance Page might answer your questions about your insurance information, cost and OON coverage.
What are out-of-network benefits?
Visits our FAQ About Insurance to learn more about OON coverage for mental health services. We can also check your benefits for you. When using OON benefits, patients typically pay the full cost of the treatment upfront and then file a claim with their insurance company for reimbursement.
Is Online Therapy As Effective As In-Person Therapy?
Online therapy is essentially face-to-face counseling, just conducted remotely. Studies show that tele-therapy is as effective as traditional counseling. Professional organizations and state governments recognize its benefits and have set regulations for it. However, like any therapy, its success in achieving your goals isn’t guaranteed. It’s important to discuss with your therapist whether tele-therapy is working for you.
How Should I Prepare for My First Session?
Showing up is all that you need to do! But if you really want to get the most out of session, it could help to take some time to think about what you want from therapy. It helps to write down your goals, questions you have or things that you feel are important to share.
Do you offer traditional talk therapy?
of course! though we have some unconventional therapy approaches, we are rooted in evidenced based practices. Talk therapy is a major player in the therapy room! See What we Treat and Integrative Services for more information
Is Virtual Counseling Suitable for Everyone?
Online therapy might not be as effective for individuals with chronic suicidal thoughts, severe trauma, significant mental health history, or those recently in intensive care. Such cases often benefit more from traditional, in-person counseling. We’ll help you decide if our online services are right for you during your intake and evaluation.
Can I Change Therapists If I'm Not Happy?
Yes, you can switch therapists to another provider within the practice, or we can provide you a referral if preferred. We want to ensure that your time and effort are well spent, and that you are getting the relief you need, that’s why we work collaboratively with each other in the practice, as well as outside therapists who we know and trust.
How Do I Know If Therapy Is Helping?
You should feel like you’re making progress. Signs it’s working include:
- Feeling comfortable talking to your therapist
- Your therapist respects boundaries
- You’re moving towards your goals
- You feel listened to
You’re doing better in life - Your self-esteem is getting better
What is your cancellation policy?
We ask that clients provide at least 24 hours notice in the event that they need to cancel to avoid the 50% cancellation fee. we understand that life happens and do our best to be flexible & reschedule.
What Geographic Areas Are Served?
Currently, we serve clients in New Jersey and are expanding to other states as telehealth laws evolve. While telehealth offers the convenience of attending sessions from anywhere, state laws require clients to be in-state during their session.
Is Online Therapy Easy to Use for Non-Tech-Savvy People?
Yes, it’s pretty simple to access sessions. You’ll need basic internet skills, such as opening and visiting the patient link sent to you via email. It’s similar to video chatting like Facetime or Zoom. We can also walk you through it on the phone the first time to ensure a strong connection
What Questions Should I Ask My New Therapist?
Feel free to ask anything. Some good questions are:
- How often will we meet?
- What do you specialize in?
- What experience do you have with my issue?
- What outcomes can I expect?
- How will I know I’m progressing?
- How long do you usually work with clients?
- How will we set my treatment goals?
What is the difference between associate therapists & fully licensed therapists?
Our Qualifications:
Our founder, Rebecca Sidoti, is a highly qualified, state-licensed therapist and supervisor with extensive training in anxiety related disorders and innovative treatment such as Ketamine Therapy. Mind by Design Counseling adheres to standards set by the our governing counseling boards.
To see each providers credentials, training and licenses, visit our “Meet the Therapists” Page to learn more.
- LAC/LSW are therapists who may practice clinical work under the supervision of a fully licensed therapist.
- LPC/LCSW are therapists who have completed the necessary clinical hours post-graduation under supervision and can practice clinical work independently.