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Online Therapy in New Jersey

Mind by Design Counseling

break anxious thinking patterns

Break Anxious Thinking Patterns:
A Mini-Guide to Managing Anxiety & Worry

Anxious thinking patterns are common  that can intensify anxiety, prolong worry and influence our perceptions and reality. Understanding & identifying anxious thinking patterns will help you start to learn how to effectively break this cycle and experience relief of anxiety and worry.

Identifying Anxious Thinking Patterns

Catastrophizing: Expecting the Worst

A pattern we often encounter is catastrophizing, where individuals anticipate the worst possible outcome in any situation. This mindset shifts focus away from probable outcomes, spotlighting imagined catastrophes and significantly increasing anxiety levels.

Black-and-White Thinking: The Extreme Views

Black-and-white thinking eliminates the possibility of nuance, categorizing everything as either all good or all bad. This polarized view can exacerbate anxiety by not allowing for more moderate, and often more accurate, outcomes.

Should Statements: Setting Unrealistic Expectations

“Should” statements impose strict rules on how we and others should behave, leading to frustration and anxiety when those expectations are unmet. Recognizing and adjusting these internal demands is crucial for reducing anxiety.

Mind Reading: Assuming Negative Judgments

Assuming others view us negatively without concrete evidence can significantly heighten social anxiety. Our services focus on strategies to challenge these unfounded beliefs, promoting healthier social interactions.

Overgeneralization: Seeing One Failure as Endless

Overgeneralization is the interpretation of a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. This leads to a pervasive sense of helplessness and despair, intensifying feelings of anxiety.

Filtering: Dwelling Only on the Negatives

Filtering involves magnifying negative details and filtering out any positive aspects. This skewed perception can drastically increase anxiety by presenting an imbalanced view of reality.


Personalization: Misattributing Causes


Personalization occurs when individuals attribute external events to themselves without basis, leading to unnecessary guilt and anxiety. Similarly, blame involves holding others or oneself unjustly responsible for situations outside one’s control.

Skills to Break Anxious Thinking Patterns

Managing anxious thinking patterns involves a combination of recognition, understanding, and applying effective strategies to challenge and alter these patterns. Challenging your thoughts is a crucial strategy in managing anxiety. This involves questioning the evidence for your anxious thoughts, looking for alternative explanations, and considering the real likelihood of what you fear happening. The goal is to replace exaggerated, anxiety-inducing thoughts with more balanced and realistic ones.

1. Identify the Anxious Thoughts

Recognize the specific anxious thinking pattern and write it down. This helps to clarify what you’re dealing with.

2. Assess the Evidence

Look at the facts supporting and contradicting this thought. Is there evidence that contradicts what you’re thinking?

3. Consider Alternatives to the Anxious Thoughts

Are there other ways to view the situation? What’s the worst that could happen, and how likely is it?

4. Use Balanced Statements to Neutralize Anxious Thinking Patterns

Based on your assessment, create a more balanced thought that reflects a more accurate and less biased perspective.

CBT Techniques to Overcome Anxious Thinking Patterns

Thought Records for Anxious Thinking Patterns

Thought records are a powerful tool for examining and challenging fears and anxieties. They involve recording the situation, the emotion felt, the automatic thought, evidence for and against the thought, and then formulating a more balanced thought.

Behavioral Experiments

These are experiments designed to test the beliefs behind your anxious thoughts against reality. For example, if you believe that asking a question in a meeting will lead to negative judgment, you might experiment by doing just that and observing the outcomes.

Mindfulness-Based CBT

This technique combines traditional CBT with mindfulness strategies, teaching individuals to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment and to focus on the present moment. This can help reduce the impact of rumination and worry.

Cognitive Restructuring

This involves identifying and challenging irrational beliefs and replacing them with more rational, balanced beliefs. It helps in reducing the emotional response to situations.

You can Beat Your Anxious Thinking Patterns!

Through understanding, challenging, and changing anxious thinking patterns, it is possible to achieve a more peaceful state of mind and improved overall well-being. Our NJ Therapists are dedicated to supporting you through this journey, providing the tools and guidance needed to foster mental health and well-being. Together, we can work towards breaking the cycle of anxious thinking patterns and moving towards a more peaceful and balanced life.

Ready to start Therapy?

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FAQ's About Therapy in New Jersey

How do I get started as a new client?

New Clients can reach out to us directly via call, text or email here:






What is your cancellation policy?

We ask that clients provide at least 24 hours notice in the event that they need to cancel to avoid the 50% cancellation fee. we understand that life happens and do our best to be flexible & reschedule.

Does my insurance cover my visits?

We provide”Courtesy Billing” for clients who are using the Out-of-network insurance benefits.

Our Insurance Page shares a small blurb about Why We Left Insurance Panels

Do you offer traditional talk therapy?

of course! though we have some unconventional therapy approaches, we are rooted in evidenced based practices. Talk therapy is a major player in the therapy room! See What we Treat and Integrative Services for more information

Is Online Therapy As Effective As In-Person Therapy?

Online therapy is essentially face-to-face counseling, just conducted remotely. Studies show that teletherapy is as effective as traditional counseling. Professional organizations and state governments recognize its benefits and have set regulations for it. However, like any therapy, its success in achieving your goals isn’t guaranteed. It’s important to discuss with your therapist whether teletherapy is working for you.

Can I Change Therapists If I'm Not Happy?

Yes, you can switch therapists to another provider within the practice, or we can provide you a referral if preferred. We want to ensure that your time and effort are well spent, and that you are getting the relief you need, that’s why we work collaboratively with each other in the practice, as well as outside therapists who we know and trust.

How Do I Know If Therapy Is Helping?

You should feel like you’re making progress. Signs it’s working include:

Feeling comfortable talking to your therapist
Your therapist respects boundaries
You’re moving towards your goals
You feel listened to
You’re doing better in life
Your self-esteem is getting better

Is Online Therapy Easy to Use for Non-Tech-Savvy People?

Yes, it’s pretty simple to access sessions. You’ll need basic internet skills, such as opening and visiting the patient link sent to you via email. It’s similar to video chatting like Facetime or Zoom. We can also walk you through it on the phone the first time to ensure a strong connection

What Questions Should I Ask My New Therapist?

Feel free to ask anything. Some good questions are:

  • How often will we meet?
  • What do you specialize in?
  • What experience do you have with my issue?
  • What outcomes can I expect?
  • How will I know I’m progressing?
  • How long do you usually work with clients?
  • How will we set my treatment goals?

How Should I Prepare for My First Session?

Showing up is all that you need to do! But if you really want to get the most out of session, it could help to take some time to think about what you want from therapy. It helps to write down your goals, questions you have or things that you feel are important to share. 

What is the difference between associate therapists & fully licensed therapists?

Our Qualifications:

Our founder, Rebecca Sidoti, is a highly qualified, state-licensed therapist and supervisor with extensive training in anxiety related disorders and innovative treatment such as Ketamine Therapy. Mind by Design Counseling adheres to standards set by the our governing counseling boards.

To see each providers credentials, training and licenses, visit our “Meet the Therapists” Page to learn more.


  • LAC/LSW are therapists who may practice clinical work under the supervision of a fully licensed therapist.
  • LPC/LCSW are therapists who have completed the necessary clinical hours post-graduation under supervision and can practice clinical work independently.

What Geographic Areas Are Served?

Currently, we serve clients in New Jersey and are expanding to other states as telehealth laws evolve. While telehealth offers the convenience of attending sessions from anywhere, state laws require clients to be in-state during their session.

Is Virtual Counseling Suitable for Everyone?

Online therapy might not be as effective for individuals with chronic suicidal thoughts, severe trauma, significant mental health history, or those recently in intensive care. Such cases often benefit more from traditional, in-person counseling. We’ll help you decide if our online services are right for you during your intake and evaluation.

What Equipment is Needed for Online Therapy?

To join a session, log in using the credentials we provide. No downloads are needed. Our platform, compatible with both individual and group sessions, requires:
A computer or mobile device with a webcam and internet access.
We’ll help you test your setup before your first appointment to ensure a reliable connection. iOS users should use the Safari browser for mobile and tablet sessions.

What Questions Will Therapists Ask Me?

It depends on your goals. Expect questions about your thoughts, feelings, relationships, work, school, and health. They’ll ask to understand your therapy goals.

How Do You Keep Client Information Secure?

Security and Confidentiality of Sessions:
Your privacy is crucial to us. We use TherapyNotes, a HIPAA-compliant platform, ensuring secure and confidential teletherapy sessions. This platform’s security features include encrypted video connections, secure data transfers, and encrypted databases, ensuring your information is safe at all times.

What is VRT used for?

we use VRT to support Exposure Therapy, a long standing traditional therapy modality to treat phobias, anxiety and stress. we send a headset directly to your home so you can access VRT from anywhere.

VRT not only helps with exposure therapy for phobias, but is great for ADHD, mindfulness, PTSD and social anxiety.

Unconventional Therapy
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