How to Have Less FOMO &
more Happiness Using CBT Skills
Key Components of happiness:
- Thinking styles,
- Perceptions
- Self-talk
- Sense of belonging
Happiness is drained through negative thinking, such as:
- What if I miss out?
- What if I fall behind?
- Am I letting my life pass me by?
That’s why it’s important to put thinking styles in check, have less FOMO and focus more on our own unique happiness. Fear of missing out, or “FOMO”, is a common feeling that most of us have experienced before, but it’s actually what keeps us from being present! Even more-so, there are correlations between social media, FOMO-mentality & depression and anxiety. All this to say– FOMO is a thinking trap that keeps us in a cycle of worry instead of in the present.
Untangle Thoughts & Perceptions (CBT part)
Instead of focusing on the things that bring us happiness, we get caught up in what we “should do” or how we “should be”. This leads to self-comparison, low-self esteem and general feelings of inadequacy.
So how do we quiet the FOMO part of our brain and focus on building our happiness?
1. BULLY BACK THE BULLY BRAIN
It can be really hard to differentiate between our own beliefs from the intrusive, pessimistic or shaming thoughts that pop in. So let’s separate you from those ‘not-so-you’ thoughts.
- Step 1: Acknowledge & Identify: Is this a demanding thought, punitive thought, self-sabotaging thought?
- Step 2: Evaluate It: What impact does this thought have on you? Does it make you feel worried, does it make you feel inadequate?
- Step 3: Challenge It: Is this something you truly believe? Is this thought accurate or based on evidence? Is this thought aligned with your beliefs, values and wants?
- Step 4: Put it in it’s place: If this thought is not an accurate one, it doesn’t belong taking up space in your mind. Some clients characterize their negative thoughts to help differentiate but giving the “negative voice” a name or an identity.
- Step 5: Decide to Leave It Behind: This is to help maintain that sacred headspace. Once we recognize that thought is unhelpful, negative or a distorted way of thinking, it is important to move past it instead of ruminating on it. Some clients will even say aloud “Since this thought isn’t helpful, I’m choosing to refocus my attention now”. Intentional focus helps to avoid over-thinking.
2. EXTERNALIZE YOUR THOUGHTS
If your brain is saying stuff to you that is putting you under pressure, making you feel wrong or less than- bully that b*$#h back, but *make it therapeutic*
Example:
Your Brain: You’re missing out on the best parts of your life because you just stay home and watch netflix
You: I’m giving back to my body and my needs, and when I’m ready to socialize I will make social plans that suit me.
CBT- Tip to decrease FOMO & Increase Happiness 💡
To help differentiate, you can give these negative thoughts a name, character, and personality. Some clients will draw and create this “thought monster” to help separate self from thoughts.
3. LEAN INTO YOUR VALUES
Yes, you actually have your own values, not just the ones you were raised with, but the ones that YOU developed and honor. Most 20-30 year olds aren’t keenly aware of their values, BUT you totally have them. Let’s figure this out….
Write out things that are important to you; these are things that, if not fulfilled, would leave you feeling some type of way.
For example, if someone values connection to others, a way to be aligned with this would be to spend time building strong relationships.
Personal Values
- Commitment
- Kindness
- Optimism
- Service
Action Step Towards Happiness
- Fulfill a promise you made to someone
- Show acceptance of others, write a letter of gratitude
- Challenge limiting thoughts & negative thinking patterns
- Volunteer, give back to your community
Need Help Applying CBT skills? Contact Us Today!
If you’re interested in doing a deep dive into life satisfaction, reach out to us or read more about living your personal values to increase your happiness. Let our experienced therapists help you overcome FOMO, increase happiness using simple CBT techniques & talk therapy today!
How do I get started as a new client?
New Clients can reach out to us directly via call, text or email here:
What is your cancellation policy?
We ask that clients provide at least 24 hours notice in the event that they need to cancel to avoid the 50% cancellation fee. we understand that life happens and do our best to be flexible & reschedule.
Does my insurance cover my visits?
We provide”Courtesy Billing” for clients who are using the Out-of-network insurance benefits.
Our Insurance Page shares a small blurb about Why We Left Insurance Panels
Do you offer traditional talk therapy?
of course! though we have some unconventional therapy approaches, we are rooted in evidenced based practices. Talk therapy is a major player in the therapy room! See What we Treat and Integrative Services for more information
Is Online Therapy As Effective As In-Person Therapy?
Online therapy is essentially face-to-face counseling, just conducted remotely. Studies show that teletherapy is as effective as traditional counseling. Professional organizations and state governments recognize its benefits and have set regulations for it. However, like any therapy, its success in achieving your goals isn’t guaranteed. It’s important to discuss with your therapist whether teletherapy is working for you.
Can I Change Therapists If I'm Not Happy?
Yes, you can switch therapists to another provider within the practice, or we can provide you a referral if preferred. We want to ensure that your time and effort are well spent, and that you are getting the relief you need, that’s why we work collaboratively with each other in the practice, as well as outside therapists who we know and trust.
How Do I Know If Therapy Is Helping?
You should feel like you’re making progress. Signs it’s working include:
Feeling comfortable talking to your therapist
Your therapist respects boundaries
You’re moving towards your goals
You feel listened to
You’re doing better in life
Your self-esteem is getting better
Is Online Therapy Easy to Use for Non-Tech-Savvy People?
Yes, it’s pretty simple to access sessions. You’ll need basic internet skills, such as opening and visiting the patient link sent to you via email. It’s similar to video chatting like Facetime or Zoom. We can also walk you through it on the phone the first time to ensure a strong connection
What Questions Should I Ask My New Therapist?
Feel free to ask anything. Some good questions are:
- How often will we meet?
- What do you specialize in?
- What experience do you have with my issue?
- What outcomes can I expect?
- How will I know I’m progressing?
- How long do you usually work with clients?
- How will we set my treatment goals?
How Should I Prepare for My First Session?
Showing up is all that you need to do! But if you really want to get the most out of session, it could help to take some time to think about what you want from therapy. It helps to write down your goals, questions you have or things that you feel are important to share.
What is the difference between associate therapists & fully licensed therapists?
Our Qualifications:
Our founder, Rebecca Sidoti, is a highly qualified, state-licensed therapist and supervisor with extensive training in anxiety related disorders and innovative treatment such as Ketamine Therapy. Mind by Design Counseling adheres to standards set by the our governing counseling boards.
To see each providers credentials, training and licenses, visit our “Meet the Therapists” Page to learn more.
- LAC/LSW are therapists who may practice clinical work under the supervision of a fully licensed therapist.
- LPC/LCSW are therapists who have completed the necessary clinical hours post-graduation under supervision and can practice clinical work independently.
What Geographic Areas Are Served?
Currently, we serve clients in New Jersey and are expanding to other states as telehealth laws evolve. While telehealth offers the convenience of attending sessions from anywhere, state laws require clients to be in-state during their session.
Is Virtual Counseling Suitable for Everyone?
Online therapy might not be as effective for individuals with chronic suicidal thoughts, severe trauma, significant mental health history, or those recently in intensive care. Such cases often benefit more from traditional, in-person counseling. We’ll help you decide if our online services are right for you during your intake and evaluation.
What Equipment is Needed for Online Therapy?
To join a session, log in using the credentials we provide. No downloads are needed. Our platform, compatible with both individual and group sessions, requires:
A computer or mobile device with a webcam and internet access.
We’ll help you test your setup before your first appointment to ensure a reliable connection. iOS users should use the Safari browser for mobile and tablet sessions.
What Questions Will Therapists Ask Me?
It depends on your goals. Expect questions about your thoughts, feelings, relationships, work, school, and health. They’ll ask to understand your therapy goals.
How Do You Keep Client Information Secure?
Security and Confidentiality of Sessions:
Your privacy is crucial to us. We use TherapyNotes, a HIPAA-compliant platform, ensuring secure and confidential teletherapy sessions. This platform’s security features include encrypted video connections, secure data transfers, and encrypted databases, ensuring your information is safe at all times.
What is VRT used for?
we use VRT to support Exposure Therapy, a long standing traditional therapy modality to treat phobias, anxiety and stress. we send a headset directly to your home so you can access VRT from anywhere.
VRT not only helps with exposure therapy for phobias, but is great for ADHD, mindfulness, PTSD and social anxiety.