Mind by Design



Let that Sh*t Go:
A Comprehensive Guide to
Overcoming Control Issues

Control issues can appear in different facets of life, impacting relationships, career paths, and overall wellness. Grasping and conquering these challenges is vital for personal development and joy. In this detailed guide, we’ll delve into the root causes of control issues, pinpoint indicators, and offer practical methods to release control and welcome a more harmonious existence.

signs of relationship anxiety and anxiety therapy in new jersey for toxic behaviors in relationships and control issues

Understanding Control Issues

What Are Control Issues?

Definition: Controlling behavior may signify an intense urge to wield influence or authority over oneself, others, or surroundings.
Manifestation: These problems may surface as micromanagement, inflexible routines, or emotional coercion.
Impact: Control issues may result in disputes, tension, and discontent in diverse life areas.

Causes of Control Issues

Definition: Control issues signify an intense urge to wield influence or authority over oneself, others, or surroundings.
Manifestation: These problems may surface as micromanagement, inflexible routines, or emotional coercion.
Impact: Controlling behavior may result in disputes, tension, and discontent in diverse life areas.

1. Fear and Insecurity

Definition: Apprehension of losing control or being controlled by others.
Manifestation: This fear can trigger controlling actions to avert perceived risks.
Impact: It may provoke anxiety, stress, and relationship clashes.

2. Childhood Trauma

Definition: Past traumatic events that render a person feeling exposed and powerless.
Manifestation: The urge to regain control can result in strict routines or emotional control.
Impact: Unresolved trauma can harm mental health and overall life quality.

3. Personality Traits & Characteristics

Definition: Characteristics like high achievement, impatience, and competitiveness.
Manifestation: These traits may compel a person to dominate every life aspect.
Impact: It may cause exhaustion, dissatisfaction, and relationship strain.

Recognizing Control Issues

Signs of Control Issues

Controlling Behavior: Attempting to direct others’ lives, even with positive intentions.
Rigid Routines: Upholding strict regulations around food, exercise, or work.
Emotional Manipulation: Utilizing emotions to wield control over others.

Common Examples

Relationships: Prescribing how a partner should act or feel.

Work: Overseeing projects and coworkers closely.

Personal Life: Restrictive eating habits or focus on routines.

Strategies to Overcome Control Issues

1. Identify Your Emotions

Understanding Feelings: Acknowledge emotions that cause controlling actions.
Insight into Emotions: Gain clarity into emotions to recognize triggers.

2. Let Go OF things you can't control

Focus on Self: Focus on managing your attitude, perspective, and reactions.
Embrace Freedom: Permit yourself to feel joy and explore new opportunities.

3. Accept Yourself & Others

Embrace Imperfections: Accept yourself and others without unattainable standards.
Build Serenity: Foster love and tranquility in relationships.

4. Practice Stress Management Skills

Relaxation Techniques: Discover techniques to handle stress.
Journaling: Write about triggering situations to comprehend and modify behavior.

5. Seek Professional Help

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Evidenced-Based approach to change thought and behavior patterns.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT is psychotherapy that aids individuals in understanding and accepting thoughts and emotions.


Control issues may be intricate and deeply ingrained, but with comprehension, self awareness, and practical methods, they can be vanquished. Adopting a balanced life approach, accepting flaws, and seeking professional assistance when required can lead to a more contented, fulfilling existence.


Whether you struggle with controlling behavior yourself or aim to assist someone else, this guide offers the tools and insights necessary to commence a journey towards liberation and development. 


Uur therapists are experts in providing treatment that is tailored to your unique needs and provides you the support you need to regain your life. Contact us today to start therapy!

FAQ about Online Therapy at mind by design

How do I get started as a new client?

New Clients can reach out to us directly via call, text or email here:




Or, you can complete a new client form and we’ll reach out to you within 24 hours here:

new client contact form request contact

What is your cancellation policy?

We ask that clients provide at least 24 hours notice in the event that they need to cancel to avoid the 50% cancellation fee. we understand that life happens and do our best to be flexible & reschedule.

Does my insurance cover my visits?

We provide”Courtesy Billing” for clients who are using the Out-of-network insurance benefits.

Our Insurance Page shares a small blurb about Why We Left Insurance Panels

Do you offer traditional talk therapy?

of course! though we have some unconventional therapy approaches, we are rooted in evidenced based practices. Talk therapy is a major player in the therapy room! See What we Treat and Integrative Services for more information

Is Online Therapy As Effective As In-Person Therapy?

Online therapy is essentially face-to-face counseling, just conducted remotely. Studies show that teletherapy is as effective as traditional counseling. Professional organizations and state governments recognize its benefits and have set regulations for it. However, like any therapy, its success in achieving your goals isn’t guaranteed. It’s important to discuss with your therapist whether teletherapy is working for you.

Can I Change Therapists If I'm Not Happy?

Yes, you can switch therapists to another provider within the practice, or we can provide you a referral if preferred. We want to ensure that your time and effort are well spent, and that you are getting the relief you need, that’s why we work collaboratively with each other in the practice, as well as outside therapists who we know and trust.

How Do I Know If Therapy Is Helping?

You should feel like you’re making progress. Signs it’s working include:

Feeling comfortable talking to your therapist
Your therapist respects boundaries
You’re moving towards your goals
You feel listened to
You’re doing better in life
Your self-esteem is getting better

Is Online Therapy Easy to Use for Non-Tech-Savvy People?

Yes, it’s pretty simple to access sessions. You’ll need basic internet skills, such as opening and visiting the patient link sent to you via email. It’s similar to video chatting like Facetime or Zoom. We can also walk you through it on the phone the first time to ensure a strong connection

What Questions Should I Ask My New Therapist?

Feel free to ask anything. Some good questions are:

  • How often will we meet?
  • What do you specialize in?
  • What experience do you have with my issue?
  • What outcomes can I expect?
  • How will I know I’m progressing?
  • How long do you usually work with clients?
  • How will we set my treatment goals?

How Should I Prepare for My First Session?

Showing up is all that you need to do! But if you really want to get the most out of session, it could help to take some time to think about what you want from therapy. It helps to write down your goals, questions you have or things that you feel are important to share. 

What is the difference between associate therapists & fully licensed therapists?

Our Qualifications:

Our founder, Rebecca Sidoti, is a highly qualified, state-licensed therapist and supervisor with extensive training in anxiety related disorders and innovative treatment such as Ketamine Therapy. Mind by Design Counseling adheres to standards set by the our governing counseling boards.

To see each providers credentials, training and licenses, visit our “Meet the Therapists” Page to learn more.


  • LAC/LSW are therapists who may practice clinical work under the supervision of a fully licensed therapist.
  • LPC/LCSW are therapists who have completed the necessary clinical hours post-graduation under supervision and can practice clinical work independently.

What Geographic Areas Are Served?

Currently, we serve clients in New Jersey and are expanding to other states as telehealth laws evolve. While telehealth offers the convenience of attending sessions from anywhere, state laws require clients to be in-state during their session.

Is Virtual Counseling Suitable for Everyone?

Online therapy might not be as effective for individuals with chronic suicidal thoughts, severe trauma, significant mental health history, or those recently in intensive care. Such cases often benefit more from traditional, in-person counseling. We’ll help you decide if our online services are right for you during your intake and evaluation.

What Equipment is Needed for Online Therapy?

To join a session, log in using the credentials we provide. No downloads are needed. Our platform, compatible with both individual and group sessions, requires:
A computer or mobile device with a webcam and internet access.
We’ll help you test your setup before your first appointment to ensure a reliable connection. iOS users should use the Safari browser for mobile and tablet sessions.

What Questions Will Therapists Ask Me?

It depends on your goals. Expect questions about your thoughts, feelings, relationships, work, school, and health. They’ll ask to understand your therapy goals.

How Do You Keep Client Information Secure?

Security and Confidentiality of Sessions:
Your privacy is crucial to us. We use TherapyNotes, a HIPAA-compliant platform, ensuring secure and confidential teletherapy sessions. This platform’s security features include encrypted video connections, secure data transfers, and encrypted databases, ensuring your information is safe at all times.

What is VRT used for?

we use VRT to support Exposure Therapy, a long standing traditional therapy modality to treat phobias, anxiety and stress. we send a headset directly to your home so you can access VRT from anywhere.

VRT not only helps with exposure therapy for phobias, but is great for ADHD, mindfulness, PTSD and social anxiety.