mind by design counseling online therapy in new jersey for anxiety, grief, women teens and adults NJ online therapist near me

Online Therapy in New Jersey

Mind by Design Counseling

self-respect through boundaries and stop people pleasing

A Path to Self-Respect and Healthy Relationships

When you think of a person who portrays self-respect, what are some of their characteristics? What are some things they hold boundaries on? Establishing boundaries is a profound act of self-respect, although there’s a common misconception that setting limits is a form of disrespect towards others. However, the essence of boundary-setting is not about alienation but about nurturing self-respect and fostering genuine, sustainable relationships. The failure to establish personal boundaries often leads to a disregard for one’s own time, comfort, and mental health needs.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries to Build Self-Respect


Setting boundaries is an integral part of self-care and respect. It involves recognizing and taking action to honor our own needs, limits, and desires. When we effectively communicate our boundaries, we not only respect ourselves but also pave the way for honest and realistic relationships that are free from the exhaustion of overextension.

Consider a scenario where you’re excited about dinner plans with friends after weeks of conflicting schedules. Suddenly, a late request from your boss puts you in a dilemma. Choosing to stay late at work may seem like a gesture of commitment, but it also means disrespecting the plans and commitments you’ve made to yourself and your friends. Communicating your inability to work late, while proposing an alternative solution, not only demonstrates your commitment to your job but also affirms your dedication to maintaining your personal boundaries.

Boundary Benefits

The act of setting boundaries has far-reaching benefits. It encourages others to respect your limits from the beginning, highlighting the importance you place on your personal space and time. For instance, addressing a recurring issue like receiving personal calls during work hours head-on, by directly communicating your needs, can significantly reduce misunderstandings and foster healthier relationship dynamics.

Daily Reflections on Self-Respect

Reflect on the day-to-day scenarios and explore how boundaries protected and honored your self respect:

  • What boundary did I hope to set?
  • What was easy or difficult about that?
  •  How Did I feel? Why?
  • Why Was It Important to Me?
  • What are the benefits of maintaining this boundary
  • How was this impacted my self-esteem and respect?


Practical Tips for Effective Boundary Setting

Embrace the Power of "And"

The words we choose in conversation carry weight. A simple shift from using “but” to “and” can transform the entire tone of a discussion. “But” often acts as a bridge to disappointment, negating what was said before it. On the other hand, “and” serves to validate both aspects of your statement, creating space for mutual respect and understanding. For instance, saying “I value our time together, and I need to spend some evenings alone to recharge” keeps the conversation open and affirmative.

Lead with Empathy

Empathy is a powerful tool in any communication, especially when setting boundaries. Beginning your conversation with a recognition of the other person’s feelings or situation shows care and consideration. This “soft start” strategy can significantly increase the receptiveness of your message, facilitating a deeper understanding and willingness to accommodate your needs. For example, acknowledging the importance of a request before explaining why you need to set a boundary demonstrates respect for the other’s perspective while firmly stating your own.

Be Clear & Direct

Clarity and directness are key when communicating boundaries. Vague or indirect statements can lead to misunderstandings and may not convey the importance of your boundary. Ensure your language is straightforward and specific, leaving little room for interpretation. For instance, instead of saying “I might need some quiet time,” say “I need an hour of quiet time each evening to decompress.” This clear communication helps ensure your boundaries are understood and respected.

SElf-Respect & Boundaries in A Nutshell

Setting boundaries to boost self-respect requires practice, patience, and persistence. By choosing our words carefully, avoiding negative labels, leading with empathy, being clear and direct, and using positive reinforcement, we can set boundaries that protect our well-being while respecting and enhancing our relationships. Remember, setting boundaries is not about creating distance; it’s about building the foundation for healthier, more respectful interactions. Embrace the process with kindness, both for yourself and for those around you, and watch as your relationships transform and flourish.

Ready to start Therapy?

FAQ's About Therapy in New Jersey

How do I get started as a new client?

New Clients can reach out to us directly via call, text or email here:






What is your cancellation policy?

We ask that clients provide at least 24 hours notice in the event that they need to cancel to avoid the 50% cancellation fee. we understand that life happens and do our best to be flexible & reschedule.

Does my insurance cover my visits?

We provide”Courtesy Billing” for clients who are using the Out-of-network insurance benefits.

Our Insurance Page shares a small blurb about Why We Left Insurance Panels

Do you offer traditional talk therapy?

of course! though we have some unconventional therapy approaches, we are rooted in evidenced based practices. Talk therapy is a major player in the therapy room! See What we Treat and Integrative Services for more information

Is Online Therapy As Effective As In-Person Therapy?

Online therapy is essentially face-to-face counseling, just conducted remotely. Studies show that teletherapy is as effective as traditional counseling. Professional organizations and state governments recognize its benefits and have set regulations for it. However, like any therapy, its success in achieving your goals isn’t guaranteed. It’s important to discuss with your therapist whether teletherapy is working for you.

Can I Change Therapists If I'm Not Happy?

Yes, you can switch therapists to another provider within the practice, or we can provide you a referral if preferred. We want to ensure that your time and effort are well spent, and that you are getting the relief you need, that’s why we work collaboratively with each other in the practice, as well as outside therapists who we know and trust.

How Do I Know If Therapy Is Helping?

You should feel like you’re making progress. Signs it’s working include:

Feeling comfortable talking to your therapist
Your therapist respects boundaries
You’re moving towards your goals
You feel listened to
You’re doing better in life
Your self-esteem is getting better

Is Online Therapy Easy to Use for Non-Tech-Savvy People?

Yes, it’s pretty simple to access sessions. You’ll need basic internet skills, such as opening and visiting the patient link sent to you via email. It’s similar to video chatting like Facetime or Zoom. We can also walk you through it on the phone the first time to ensure a strong connection

What Questions Should I Ask My New Therapist?

Feel free to ask anything. Some good questions are:

  • How often will we meet?
  • What do you specialize in?
  • What experience do you have with my issue?
  • What outcomes can I expect?
  • How will I know I’m progressing?
  • How long do you usually work with clients?
  • How will we set my treatment goals?

How Should I Prepare for My First Session?

Showing up is all that you need to do! But if you really want to get the most out of session, it could help to take some time to think about what you want from therapy. It helps to write down your goals, questions you have or things that you feel are important to share. 

What is the difference between associate therapists & fully licensed therapists?

Our Qualifications:

Our founder, Rebecca Sidoti, is a highly qualified, state-licensed therapist and supervisor with extensive training in anxiety related disorders and innovative treatment such as Ketamine Therapy. Mind by Design Counseling adheres to standards set by the our governing counseling boards.

To see each providers credentials, training and licenses, visit our “Meet the Therapists” Page to learn more.


  • LAC/LSW are therapists who may practice clinical work under the supervision of a fully licensed therapist.
  • LPC/LCSW are therapists who have completed the necessary clinical hours post-graduation under supervision and can practice clinical work independently.

What Geographic Areas Are Served?

Currently, we serve clients in New Jersey and are expanding to other states as telehealth laws evolve. While telehealth offers the convenience of attending sessions from anywhere, state laws require clients to be in-state during their session.

Is Virtual Counseling Suitable for Everyone?

Online therapy might not be as effective for individuals with chronic suicidal thoughts, severe trauma, significant mental health history, or those recently in intensive care. Such cases often benefit more from traditional, in-person counseling. We’ll help you decide if our online services are right for you during your intake and evaluation.

What Equipment is Needed for Online Therapy?

To join a session, log in using the credentials we provide. No downloads are needed. Our platform, compatible with both individual and group sessions, requires:
A computer or mobile device with a webcam and internet access.
We’ll help you test your setup before your first appointment to ensure a reliable connection. iOS users should use the Safari browser for mobile and tablet sessions.

What Questions Will Therapists Ask Me?

It depends on your goals. Expect questions about your thoughts, feelings, relationships, work, school, and health. They’ll ask to understand your therapy goals.

How Do You Keep Client Information Secure?

Security and Confidentiality of Sessions:
Your privacy is crucial to us. We use TherapyNotes, a HIPAA-compliant platform, ensuring secure and confidential teletherapy sessions. This platform’s security features include encrypted video connections, secure data transfers, and encrypted databases, ensuring your information is safe at all times.

What is VRT used for?

we use VRT to support Exposure Therapy, a long standing traditional therapy modality to treat phobias, anxiety and stress. we send a headset directly to your home so you can access VRT from anywhere.

VRT not only helps with exposure therapy for phobias, but is great for ADHD, mindfulness, PTSD and social anxiety.

Unconventional Therapy
for unconventional people

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