Understanding Your Relationship Patterns
For the sake of love
Identifying and breaking unhealthy relationship patterns can feel like a daunting task, but it is essential for your mental and emotional health. Many people find themselves stuck in a cycle of toxic relationships and wonder how they ended up in this situation yet again. If you can relate to this, it’s important to know that you are not alone. The first step towards breaking these patterns is to recognize them.
Common Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
Unhealthy relationships can come in many forms and can include behaviors such as:
- Controlling behaviors
- Lack of Respect for Boundaries
- Lack of Accountability
- Lack of Trust
- Bullying/Threatening
- Verbal and Physical Abuse
- Manipulation/Gaslighting/Blame
If you find yourself in unhealthy cycles with your partner or past partners, it may be worth examining your thoughts and behaviors to identify any unhelpful patterns that may be keeping you stuck. It can be helpful to consult with a therapist for extra support.
Understanding Your Role in Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
There are many reasons why people may find themselves in unhealthy relationships. For some, it may be related to their upbringing and what they learned from their parents or family members. For example, if you grew up in a household where conflict was avoided, you may feel more anxious when conflict arises. This tends to lead to resentment, hurt feelings and being emotionally withdrawn during conflict resolution.
For others, it may not be at all related to their upbringing, and may be due to other reasons such as shared finances or having children with a partner. In some cases, self-esteem and feelings of self-worth play a role in how relationship patterns are established. This is where individual therapy could help to process challenges and plan for change.
Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
Breaking the cycle of unhealthy relationship patterns may feel overwhelming, but there are few things you can do to get started:
This includes “red flag” behaviors such as manipulation, control, belittling language/name calling and/or manipulative/controlling behavior by you or your partner
Taking ownership of your behaviors will open up opportunities for change. It may also show your partner that you are invested in the health of the relationship.
Setting boundaries is essential in any relationship, but is especially important when trying to break unhealthy patterns. Learning how to set your own boundaries and respect the boundaries of your partner can create a stronger sense of security and trust.
It may seem obvious, however, many people don’t consistently participate in self care. It’s important to prioritize self care to make sure your needs are met and you are at your best to handle any stress that comes your way.
Breaking the cycle of unhealthy relationship patterns can be challenging so it’s important to have a good support system to help you. This may include finding an individual therapist, attending support groups or talking to trusted friends/family members.
If you are looking to make healthy changes for yourself and your relationships, talk to one of our therapists today!
Our team of experts can help you strengthen your self-awareness, be more accountable to loved ones and enjoy healthier, more fulfilling relationships!
